Hostile Holiday

Today is Malaysia's independence day when everyone go around flagging their Jalur Gemilang shouting "Merdeka Merdeka Merdeka" like they are the most patriotic person on earth. Then few minutes later they randomly throw their cigarette butts; simply spit on the floor; complain how hot this country is; scrunch up all the samans they get for the past few days; cut Qs; curse the government; scold the other races and got back home to change into the "I LOVE*doot* (other country)" T-shirt. Ah, how refreshing.

I'm sorry Malaysia. I should be happy that you are turning 50 today but if you wanna ask me to write down 50 things I love about you at this very moment I'm afraid I can't. My mind is completely blocked with 50 things I hate about this month.

Seriously I don't feel Merdeka at all. So many bad news at such a short time. They are all designed to provoke my temper, challenge my mentality, test my endurance and my integrity. I should be happy I got promoted but D'oh. I should be happy that my car turned 2 years old but then Tulan. I should be relax when I took few days leave but my body had to breakdown. I should be enjoying with my sistas yesterday nite but I had to stay at home eating the stupid pills.

Maybe it's the Hungry Ghost Festival, some spirit decided to choose me as its target and threw me down from an airplane without a parachute. Or rather I owe this spirit in my past life so it's coming back to get its revenge. Pls, take whatever you need, I'm glad to pay for all my sins.

This is such a negative post. I have to stop. I hate spreading bad news. Just leave me alone and let me sulk silently.

Wild Sex...

I was prancing around on the wet grass, agitated. How come my dinner is not served yet? The sky was getting darker as the sun slowly set. Should be any minute now. I sat down and waited patiently for my favourite mixed meat rice.

Suddenly the sound of jiggling keys and the familiar creaking of the metal door alerted my sensitive ears. I looked up immediately and saw my handsome master walking towards me with a gleeful smile plastered on his face. I stood up happily as he unleashed me. I had been grounded for a week and I felt like a prisoner. I couldn’t contain my joy so I jumped up and down uncontrollably.

A minute later, Lady Master walked out and approached me as well. Both of them led me to the family’s biggest car. They opened the back door and then urged me to jump in. Hooray! I love riding in the car! I jumped inside the back of the truck without any hesitations. My handsome master jumped in with me too and Lady Master revved up the engine moments later. I sat down beside my master, getting ready to enjoy my ride.

The last time I went out for a ride was when they sent me to the clinic for some medical checkups. I have been bleeding nonstop for the past few days so probably they are sending me there again.

The journey took quite a while, longer then it used to be. Finally the car stopped in front of a big house. Huh? This does not look familiar. New clinic? My masters opened the door and I jumped down cautiously. I sniffed around with my sensitive nose. Hmm, smells like…smells just like…me?!

I walked closely by my masters into the big place. Some unfamiliar faces came out to greet us and then we were led to the side of the house.

Then I saw him. Tall, dark and handsome. His frame was so broad he must be working out everyday. His jaw line was so big and strong he could crush a neck anytime. His coat was so smooth, so shiny. He must be using the best shampoo with conditioner.

We just stood there staring at each other for few seconds then he strutted towards me like some black knight in shining armor. We snuffled around.

Before we could know each other better, my master strapped something over my mouth. What the hell? I couldn't open my mouth and I looked at my handsome master with alarming eyes. He stroked me gently as if assuring me everything’s alright.

The stranger exchanged few words with my masters but I didn’t understand what they were talking about. Suddenly something lunged at my pelvis, I got shocked and my hind legs felt weak. Before I could register what was happening…


Holy Dog! I’m being fucked!!!

Nightmare...

She was panting heavily in a dark, cold place. Her sound echoed back almost immediately and she realised she was in a confined space. She was clasping onto a rope for dear life. She didn't know where she was and what she was doing but she knew that if she let go of the rope she would fall.

With both her thighs clutching tightly to the rope, she stretched out one of her arms to feel the surroundings. She touched something solid - a wet and slippery wall. She looked down below her but she couldn't see a thing, it was like an endless hole. She looked up and she saw light. The bright light was probing her. Her instincts were signaling her to continue her journey. She started propelling upwards using every ounce of her energy.

It felt like eternity climbing up the rope, she guessed she had climbed at least 10 storey high but the light was still far, far away. Her hands and inner thighs felt like burning caused by the friction with the rope. Her lungs were screaming and her energy was wearing out.

Suddenly a sharp pain seized her, something hard had struck her shoulder. Something falling from above. She looked up again and she was petrified. Stones were falling from above. Big ones, little ones, they were all pouring down like raindrops. There was nowhere to hide. She closed her eyes hard, bracing herself for the impacts. They struck her back, her head, her fingers and her bare feet. They hit her with no mercy. She slipped a bit but she kept herself calm, holding onto the rope without fidgeting.

Then the stone-storm stopped. She breathed a sign of relief. She assured herself that it was just a small obstacle. She had to continue on. She pulled herself up again, with much more determination.

She smiled as the light was getting nearer and nearer but she felt herself getting heavier and heavier each seconds. Something was pulling on to her and it was pulling her down. She tried to look down and then she saw it. Hanging on to her ankle was a cord and the cord was attached to a lump of thing. She couldn't make out what the thing was but it was definitely trying to drag her down. The thing seemed to be differentiating, like undergoing metamorphosis. She got scared and she swung her leg hard. It was getting bigger and heavier. Strangely enough, she felt connected to it. It almost felt like the thing belonged to her.

No! This can't be happening. She didn't want to go down, she wanted to reach the light. She had to do something to get rid of it. She used her toes to try to slide the cord down her feet. It went off. She looked at it one last time, the thing was sending impulses to her brain, begging her not to let it go. She felt emotional all of a sudden, she closed her eyes and was surprised that tears were streaming down her cheeks. She had no choice, she had to be stern with her decision. It would be a burden if she thought otherwise. She let it go. The thing fell into the darkness, never to be seen again.

She gripped the rope tightly, the feeling of remorse devoured her. She looked up again at the light. The light was getting brighter and brighter, blinding her. Slowly it consumed her...

She squirmed and she opened her eyes. She was lying on a bed and she was back to reality. It was a nightmare. Just a nightmare...

She touched her cheeks and it was wet with tears. She assured herself that it's all over. Or issit? She wondered.

TULAN

Yo, yo, check it out. Zhe(4) si(3) wa(4) zhor(3) eh(3) gua(1)...

Uh huh...uh huh...

CHORUS:
TULAN, sibeh sibeh TULAN. Ah-ah...
TULAN, cincia cincia TULAN. Yo Yo...

Lu(4) meng(3) wa(4) har(1) mi(4) dai(3) ji(3)
Wa(4) ka(3) lu(4) gong(2) ji(4) geh(3) dai(3) ji(3)

Wa(4) cincia cincia bo(3) meng(2)
Zhor(4) mi(4) ji-geh dai(3) ji(3) eh(3) huat(4) seng(1)

Beng(3) zai(1) wa(4) hor(3) bau(1) kang(1) kang(1)
Goh(4) ai(2) wa(4) kor(4) lag(4) pua(4) kang(1)
Wa(4) cincia deng(2) beh(3) diao(2) liao(4)
Wa(4) bah(3) lu(4) ai(2) mo(4) liu(3) lian(2) liao(4)!
CHORUS:
TULAN, sibeh sibeh TULAN. Ah-ah...
TULAN, cincia cincia TULAN. Yo Yo...

Ji(4) ban(1) dia(3) pai(2) lang(2) bo(3) kua(4) juey(3)
Lim(1) KOPI diou(3) sibeh juey(3)

Gang(1) hu(1) bo(3) xiang(3) li(2) xiao(3) long(2)
Gong(2) uie(3) diou(3) siang(3) AH LONG

SAMSENG tao(3) zheng(2) xiang(3) jia(4) kau(4)
Wa(4) lang(2) tao(3) zheng(2) xiang(3) ang(3) kau(2)

Wa(4) SUKA ji(4) geh(3) kok(4) ka(1)
Na(3) si(3) gia(3) BEG pun ai(2) kia(1)!

CHORUS:

TULAN, sibeh sibeh TULAN. Ah-ah...
TULAN, cincia cincia TULAN. Yo Yo...

Ji(4) ban(1) ANGKAT KAKI beh(3) eia(3) lang(2)
GOYANG KAKI beh(3) su(1) lang(2)

Dua(3) dan(1) dai(3) ji(3) mai(4) kir(1) pua(3)
Suey(4) dan(1) dai(3) ji(3) bang(4) beh(3) suah(4)

Zhor(4) ga(4) wa(4) lang(2) bo(3) lui(2) kai(1)
Wa(4) lang(2) kok(4) dak(4) bo(3) yeng(1) kai(1)

Ai(1) giu(3) e-lang bo(2) hu(3)
E-lang ga(3) wa-lang gong(2) zheng(4) hu(4)!

CHORUS:

TULAN, sibeh sibeh TULAN. Ah-ah...
TULAN, cincia cincia TULAN. Yo Yo...

Wa(4) ai(2) qiu(4) gua(1) hor(3) kok(4) ka(1)
E-lang diou(3) zhor(4) wa(4) kia(1) kia(1)!

CHORUS:
TULAN, sibeh sibeh TULAN. Ah-ah...
TULAN, cincia cincia TULAN. Yo Yo... (REPEAT till fade...)

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I was soooo TULAN, i decided to write this to The Star paper and also to MYFM.

editor@thestar.com.my

Subject: BELATED SAMANS

Dear editor,

My mum went to the post office this morning to help me renew my road tax. Unfortunately she couldn't as they told her my name was blacklisted. She then drove all the way to JPJ to find out why. The staff in JPJ told her the same thing that my name was blacklisted and I need to settle a summon at the traffic police station first before i can proceed to renew my road tax. She then went to the police station to settle the fine for me.

When my mum questioned me about this I was utterly surprised as i remember i had settled all my JPJ tickets and summons one month ago. Nonetheless I took my day off to check it out and to my horror the summon was dated back in 2001. My mum was forced to pay RM300 for this summon this morning as they "threatened" to issue a warrant of arrest.

I was just a college student back in 2001 when i committed the offense and the memory was still fresh in my mind as i had gone to the same police station to lodge a report with my father. I even met up with a "Sarjan" in the police station and he said i had to pay an extra RM400 because i was under 21 years old. So my father did. Everything was settled back then in the police station. In fact my car had even claimed its insurance.

All these years i had no problem renewing my road tax and i had even sold the respective car in 2004. When i was bombarded with this summon just now i turned purple. I literally barged into the police station and demanded for an explanation. All they did was roughly looked at the payment receipt and told us they couldn't retrieve any data from their computers. They practically brushed us off and "chased" us back to JPJ to "seek" the truth. In an accusing manner, they even asked us to show them prove by presenting the previous receipt. We realised they are no help to us so we walked out in vain.

Is this the treatment that we public are suppose to get? Shouldn't they be updating their system at least every once a year so that they don't miss out any summons like what happen to the Express bus tragedy in Taiping? How am i suppose to produce a receipt dated six years back when my previous car is history? All of these are sufficient for us to map out the "efficiency" and the "effectiveness" of the two govenment departments - JPJ and the Police.

I'm not concern whether i'm going to get back the money or not as i already know it will be fruitless. I'm just want to alert everyone else that they might be facing the same situation as i have. How do we know that we are not paying blindly for an offense that occurred years ago and was almost impossible for us to scrape all the pieces back into place? This is truly unfair to us as I'm sure none of us would keep track of these. Yes, as a law-abiding citizen everyone of us should pay for all the offenses we made on the road but these kind of reckless responsibilities from the government bodies are not forgivable.

Who can we trust in the future when those assigned to protect our social welfare and safety have abused their power to do so?

Angie

Klang

If anybody happens to read this in the newspaper, please be kind to inform me k? Thank you very much...

P/S: Everybody, keep all your summons and receipts for the next 50 years please. Selamat 50th Merdeka...

Mouth Ulcer

I have a big fat ulcer in my mouth since last week. It's damn painful and irritating especially when i eat, gargle or even talk. Worst is i cannot possibly stop eating, gargling or talking, can I? So i had a frustrating week...

I complained to my mum about the ulcer although i knew she would say, "Eat too much heaty stuff, issit?" She then cooked curry chicken the next day. I like curry chicken so i ate a lot. I kindly reminded her again i got ulcer. And the day after, she cooked Bakuteh. Such a kind mother i have...

I complained to honey bout the ulcer and like i expected his answer was (and will always be)..."Didn't drink enough water? The weather so hot now, ya know?" Then he shoved a water bottle filled with 2 litres of water into my hand. He then brought me to the newly opened chocolate shop and bought some chocolates. I CAN'T RESIST CHOCOLATES!

I complained to my colleagues bout the ulcer and she said, "Apply butter on it." I was like HUH? A big question mark on top of my head. "Where did you get tat idea? Butter can cure ulcer?" She asked me to trust her as she said butter can ease the pain. I was skeptical so i didn't do it. I can't imagine placing a piece of butter on the ulcer then sucking the oil when it melts. So OILY.

Then the idea got me thinking. Issit true all ulcers come from heaty foods and scorching weather? Issit true butter can help to cure ulcers?

I click on the Google bar and search for "mouth ulcers". I stumbled across a webpage - Mouth Ulcers Homepage - and i got a lot of interesting findings. The page contained public survey regarding mouth ulcers since Oct 2002. I decided to share with you guys.

The causes survey:

There are more than 300 possible causes of ulceration voted by the public so i wouldn't wan to post the whole list here. Damn long. Some really confusing causes are

Some really funny causes are. Maybe i'm really worrying bout money too much nowadays.

Let's go through the treatment survey:

Hey, i tot Listerine was in the causes list just now! So it can cause and also cure ulcer? Like the chinese saying: 以毒攻毒 (poison attacks poison). Most of the >300 treatments are vitamins, fruits, painkillers and ointments.

Maybe we can try some of these treatments below especially no. 21. I'm sure tat'll help a lot. Oh, butter is in the list. My colleague didn't trick me after all.

I even found some very disturbing methods of treatment:

Scrap wif knife? Drink urine? Pour very very very hot tea? These ppl must be crazy to even try these. I wouldn't want to torture myself, seriously. In fact, i have voted for the best method (i think) in the list:

I'm so pandai...

Tony Roma's

Since i sudah "naik gaji naik pangkat", i decided to treat Honey to one of the finest diner in Cineleisure Damansara. Apalah! Kata mau budget bulan ni? Ooops, i broke the rules tat i set two days ago. D'oh!

Tony Roma's started way back in 1972 in North Miami by of coz none other than himself. It's world famous ribs had racked up taste awards all over the world and now there are more than 230 locations on the map.

I had always been curious bout this diner whenever i go Cineleisure to watch movie. Most of the time i see ppl waiting eagerly in line outside the restaurant even though there are so many more restaurants to choose from at The Curve which are cheaper and not too bad themselves eg. TGI Friday, Paddington House of Pancakes, 1920s etc. How i know it's more expensive? Well, from the design and environment i just guessed...

Honey said one day we should go there and eat and so we were there last nite. We got a warm welcome at the doorway then one of the waitresses led us to a nice spacious seat. She was very sweet as she intro herself and gave us the expensive-looking menu. Indeed, the dishes are pricey. Nonetheless, I wanted to try everything on the menu!

Few minutes later, another waitress approached us to recommend the famous dishes they serve there. Honey doesn't eat "moo-moo" so we didn't order any ribs. We ordered an entree - their world famous, made-from-scratch Onion Loafs, a smoked Mahi-Mahi (a kind of fish), a grilled Rosemary Chicken and one of their famous dessert. Honey looked at me with bewilderment but I assured him that all the dishes served in famous diners come with BIG price and SMALL portions.

BOY, I WAS SOOOO WRONG!!

This "half" onion loafs looked like a double-storey hamburger! The onions were stacked up like a fortress and it came with a special sauce. I had nvr tasted such delicious fried onions. Most ppl dislike onions coz of their erotic taste but this one is absolutely awesome. Totally blew me off. A must-eat entree but....ONLY when a few of you are sharing it coz when we chomped down the last piece of onion, we were 3/4 full liao.

The main courses were ENORMOUS! The plates were bigger than the biggest frying pan in my house. Each main course comes with two side items. I chose Broccolis and mashed potatoes whereas Honey chose the Broccolis and baked potato. Wah lau, they seemed to give us a whole stalk of broccolis and the potatoes were double the size of an original potato selling in supermarket.

Honey's grilled rosemary chicken was really great and my Mahi-Mahi was very smooth and bit spicy. The waitress came with four different sauces and she intro the sauces by drawing a smiley face on a plate. CUTE! She even tied a plastic napkin around my neck! I think i looked stupid with tat...

Halfway through, our stomachs started to signal the STOP alarm. Honey gave me the "i-told-u-so" look and i gave him a sheepish smile. The waitress kept checking on us every 5 minutes to ask bout the food and to clear the plates. You know during an eating competition, the participants have to force themselves to eat eventhough they are full? I felt like one of them.

You ask why cant we just leave it? Oh, you see, Honey doesn't like to waste food and he'll do watever he can to stuff all in. Another thing is what if the chef come running out in a frenzy and ask why we didnt finish the food? We spent a good one hour trying to chow everything down. Honey even helped me finished 1/3 of my fish after i stopped forking it. Then we tried to ask the waitress whether we can take away the dessert but she said they don't have a special container for tat. So?

Dessert time!

Actually the fudge and ice cream were really delicious. Honey's phone camera didn't capture a nice photo of it so i don't wan to post it up to spoil the image. We finished it thoroughly. Once the last scoop of ice cream was gulped, the bill instantaneously arrived. We didn't even signal them. Guess how much???
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Guess la...
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A whooping 100++!! But anyway i was happy to pay for tat, coz it was really worth it. We walked out of the diner and saw ppl standing outside waiting to be seated. No wonder they wanted to chase us out. I was like "huh" it was a Thursday nite le, aren't these ppl eating at home?

Oh well, looks like we didn't choose to dine at the wrong restaurant after all. The environment was romantic, the seat was comfy, the service was excellent and the meal was scrumptious and way FULLfilling.

My greediness led to this

I'm SOOOOO sorry, honey.

"Not everyone is an artist but I believe an artist can come from anywhere. I'll definitely pay another visit very soon HUNGRY FOR MORE" quoted from Ratatouille. This is a real touching movie, please go and watch.

D'oh!

I'm being promoted yet i'm broke. How the hell did i overspend 400 of my salary last month? Let's see...i was being con into signing up a facial treatment two months ago so now i have to pay the instalments. Then i have to send my car for servicing. Then the food, yoga fees, entertainments, dad's medicine...this is not right. I didn even buy anything for myself last month le, why? Why?? WHY??? D'oh!

This month will not be any easier for me though. I have to renew my car insurance and road tax. Guess i have to make a budget plan for this month:

1) Take b/fast at home before going to work / make Milo in the office.
2) Don't order drinks during lunch and don't spend more than RM4 for lunch.
3) Don't go out yam cha or party more than once a week. (Means only can go out 4 times this month, D'oh!)
4) Don't travel unnecessarily.
5) Don't go shopping. (D'oh!)
6) Download movies and watch at home.
7) Try to escape all the tols and traffic jams.
8) Ask my fren to read this post so they won't tempt me by asking me out. (D'oh!)
9) Be more alert to avoid samans, compounds, unnecessary expenditure.
10) Con Honey's money.

With the new machine coming in and new system to upgrade, my lab was flooded with ppl today. A Swedish personally flew in from the headquarters in Switzerland to our lab. He was there to observe our daily work regarding the current LIS we are using so he can upgrade his newly developed LIS to match our requirements.

He is sooo tall (taller than my dad) tat when i was sitting down i had to tilt my head all the way up to look at him. He looked like he's in the forties but he has the most beautiful eyelashes i'd ever seen before, at least for a man. He seriously can be the next Maybelline model. He also has this really high nose, mesmerising deep-set eyes and nicely cropped hazel hair. Very decent-looking and very gentleman indeed. He speaks fluent english which i have no problem listening to though he has this Swedish kind of slang in it. Hmmm, wonder if he's married......

I was involved in the meeting with my manager, him and a few of their colleagues. I was quite nervous and i got tongue-tied while explaining some issues. Damn, i made a total klutz out of myself. I blew my chance! D'oh!

P/S: Some of my colleagues claimed tat i put on weight.

D'OHHHHHHhhhhhhhhh......